Are you stressing about those tan lines? Can’t quite get just the right shade of orange with your usual bikini? Lucky for you, JWoww has the answer. And that makes sense, because she’s the entrepreneurial/inventor/designer sort.
The Jersey Shore’s tallest guidette (she’s approximately 17 inches higher than Snooki) has teamed up with Perfect Tan Bikini to to create a line of swimwear that doesn’t require any tiesaround the top or the back – it stays on the chest using a powerful combination of a special adhesive and hope.
Perfect Tan Bikini’s press release claims the adhesive is activated using heat, and can be re-activated up to 20 times using “the heat of a blow dryer, or a simple hair straightening iron.” Um, that sounds terrifying. The blow dryer I kinda get, but wouldn’t use. But a straightening iron? How the… do they get how boobs work?
There’s no mention of what kind of support the bikini offers, but without a single strap, one could assume it’s minimal. Of course that won’t be a problem for users, since anyone considering buying this monstrosity likely has crazy fake t*ts like JWoww’s. That’s right. Aim a blow dryer at those suckers and see how it all turns out. Melting like a Barbie in the microwave.
